Those of you my age or more (and admittedly not many of us left), may remember KiaOra cordial, available in our youth. Hence my ha ha funny title to this new blog. Our trip to New Zealand. Our first ever holiday in the land of the long white cloud. And mercifully in the South Island, whilst Cyclone Gabrielle is ravaging the North Island.

We flew in to Queenstown yesterday, Monday 13 February 2023. Arrived half an hour early, with hand luggage only (we’re rehearsing for our Scandanavian adventure at the end of this year) and we were at the rental car chicken disk at 2.40pm. On the on line booking form we had said a 3pm arrival. So the car wasn’t ready. “Please return at 3pm” So we sat and watched all those fellow passengers lugging huge suitcases and boarding buses or taxis whilst we waited. And waited. We waited so long it Hertz. But by 3.30pm we had our car and drove to our accommodation – a nicely appointed self catering apartment on the main road and very noisy

But then we lifted our heads and opened our eyes

Wow, what a view. The Remarkables. Lake Wakatipu.

Having caught our breath, we headed for town. It’s all downhill, but as the lovely lady at reception explained, it wasn’t downhill coming back. So we drove. Straight into Queenstown peak hour traffic, at 5.10pm. Gridlock. Partly because of the amount of traffic and partly because of the construction of the Queenstown Arterial Road. And not a moment too soon I’d say. We eventually found a park, after many rounds of various blocks and a deal of convenient sight seeing. A wander through the very busy streets and down to that beautiful lake to find something to eat. Hah! Everything was booked out. Many places are closed due to lack of staff. The same old Air BnB story. Cottages and flats which were once let to hospitality and transient folk are now reserved for the wealthy (like us) who pay through the nose and so the owners are prepared to have their properties sitting idle for half a year whilst raking in obcence amounts the other half. Cafes and restaurants had vacant tables but could not serve because of no wait staff and short on kitchen staff. I usually feel like cooking but not tonight, so we kept walking, and eventually came across an unassuming place called The Lodge Bar, with a menu out the front and which exceeded our expectations. A little out of the way, but still on the waterfront, and the only table they had was outside (oh, shame, gorgeous night and perfect weather).

But we had to sit at the bar first, whilst previous guests vacated. Cherrie had a local Gin & Soda (she’s off the Tonic) and I had some sort of wicked and absolutely delicious whiskey sour. Joe, our charming waiter from Essex, who has been here for 11 years (I guess he likes it) showed us to our table and took our order for the most delicious Marlborough oysters with a wonderful vinagrette, followed by our mains. It was great food and a great bottle of wine (less than US$500 for those of you who remember – personally I’ve forgotten) and many great tourism tips. One of which was that the wine we had tonight was a Pinot Noir from the Bendigo district of Central Otago, which sits on Lake Dunstan. Any family reading this will be as amused as I was that our Dunstan’s came from Bendigo in Victoria

After paying an obscene amount for dinner (we’re both staggered by the high prices here) we drove home, very happy with our first day but sad for Auckland.

Tuesday 14 February 2023

Today, taking Joe’s advice, we headed for the Central Otago wine area. The route took us via Roaring Meg, one of the many mini hydro power schemes in this area.

Will you look at the colour of that water?Just to prove we were there, we took our first ever selfie. It took both of us. One to hold the phone and the other to press the button.

Then on to Cromwell. A little too much of Cromwell really, since Cromwell isn’t a marvellously beautiful town, more like a series of housing estates. It may be that our rental car provided navigator (a dear old fashioned Garmin who we have not yet named but who has a very flat Australian voice – we’re still trying to figure who she is) was not listened to. Anyway, we saw Lindsay Drive, and a good too many other drives, avenues, circuits and lanes from every angle and eventually found our way out. Via the big fruit (you could be forgiven for thinking that’s my bottom)

It seems that Cromwell is in a fruit growing district, but you wouldn’t know it until you are well out of town, where we saw lots of berries, apricots, apples and pears.

Finally we found Lake Dunstan

surrounded by the Dunstan ranges, and then found Bendigo

Up a few dirt roads, and just a couple of u-turns, we found what we were looking for. Last night we had that wonderful Pinot Noir. Joe had told us that his two favourite wineries in Central Otago were Mondillo and Prophets Rock. We had found Mondillo. Dom Mondillo charmed us at the cellar door. Or we charmed him. I’m not sure but he came out with the cash and we the debit. After an hour or so we departed, lunch bound. Dom had recommended the pub at Bannockburn, and en route we passed what seemed to be a real life promotion of Grand Designs NZ, full of black houses

We finally found Bannockburn, and the pub. Which was closed. Lack of staff. But the Black Rabbit was nearby and we had a decent sandwich there. Vegetarian. We moved on to Alexandria, via Clyde. Our friend Penny knew a winemaker in Alexandria and thought she could live there. Well, she doesn’t know him, as much as know of him. But we still wanted to see where Sam’s winery was. We like the back roads, and so off we went. We drove through dry country – it’s all dry here. Average rainfall of 300mm per annum. So, the back road, well, very back. The signs were clear, and we loved the remote country we were in

We passed not a car nor a house. Until we came across a farmer drenching his sheep

We waved, and kept going. Someone knew what was up ahead

Which was a bit unfair, as it wasn’t that pissy. It is a lonely life up here though

and possibly quite invigorating to see life-form. Bull shit.

Nevertheless, we continued on our journey, on this fabulous back road. The map (not the flat voiced navigator who had not been given a hearing all day) confirmed we were on the right track. And then we found what we were looking for.

Only three things got in the way

Plus this other thing

It took us 50 minutes to get here. But what could we do but u-turn back to the road less travelled

At least someone was waiting for us

The sheep were drenched and gone. Nothing else had changed. Eventually, we turned on Garmin and found Clyde. Not even a family reunion has done us so proud

It’s a charming town, and possibly the one that Penny would prefer to live in. On to Alexandria. No photos. Not a familiar face in site.

And so to home. After many hours of driving, and just a few u-turns.

The sunsets on our first full day in Queenstown

Wednesday 15 February 2023

Today we head to the historic village of Arrowtown. Garmin doesn’t get a look in, but the road signs are clear. En route we climb (or at least the Mitsubishi Elantra does) Coronet Peak, the closest ski area to Queenstown. It’s a curvy drive up

but worth every turn.

In case you doubt my word (for heavens sake, I don’t sell second hand cars, I’m a theatre producer) here’s the (two handed) proof

So, onto Arrowtown, which is completely charming. We strolled the streets, we learned why we had seen so many dead pines

They are Wilding Pines but they are not native and so there is a massive program to eradicate them (sorry Derek).

The other important thing we learned from today is what a fantastic place is The Winery in Arrowtown. Where you can pay to taste wines, choose what you choose to taste and self dispense. With a cheese platter perhaps.

Back home. Poor old Garmin didn’t get a look in today.

Good night all. Good wishes to the North Island. And to our Australian friends.

Another two days in Queenstown before moving on. What will the blog bring?